JUST TO LET YOU LOT KNOW WE (YUP I SAID WE MY BEST FREIND AND ME HAVE A NEW BLOG) ITS ON SKY CALLED: http://londonfunny.skyrock.com GO CHECK IT OUT.....
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor." "Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell." "My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde.
The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the brunette yells, ''EARTHQUAKE!!!'' Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no and the executioner shouts, ''Ready! Aim!'' Suddenly the redhead yells, ''TORNADO!!!'' Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no and the executioner shouts, Ready! Aim!'' and the blonde yells, ''FIRE!!!''' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Have you seen www.topsecret.com? If I have, I'm not going to tell you.
Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.
The number twelve goes to a bar A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer." Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman." Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice." You're under 18," replies the barman
A pirate at the local bar discusses his past A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate." You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"