Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen? Apparently people were confused about which side to spit on. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Pourquoi une blonde reste assis devant un jus dorange sans y toucher pendant 2heures. Parce que cest ecrit jus dornage concentrer ! <<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<>>
Dick Cheney rentre dans le bureau oval et voit le president sauter et crier. "quel est le probleme, mr president?" the premier ministre demande. "rien du tout, patron. J'ai just fini ce puzzle dans un temps record!" s'ecria le president.
"combien de temps vous a t'il pris?"
"Ben la boite disait '3 a 5 ans' mais je l'ai fait en un mois!"
3 fous se sont evadés de prison. un d'entre eu dit:pour pas que les polices nous reconnaisse ont va changer de nom. un autre dit:ok toi tu t'appelle personne toi tu t'appelle rien et moi je m'appelle fou. ils marchent dans la rue et tout a coup personne se fait écraser. rien dit: il faut que j'appelle la police mais j'ai peur de me faire prendre. fou dit:ok je vais l'appeller pour toi. il composa le 911 et il dit: bonjour personne est mort j'appelle pour rien. la police dit: vous êtes fou. fou dit: aaaaaaaaaaa il m'a recconu.
THESE ARE JUST FOR YOU LA ......... YOU DO KNOW ITS A NON....COMPRENDO....JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THEM.....BACK TO ENGLISH NOW..............
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....POOR MAN...................
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
EEEMMMMMM....THINK ITS.......BUBBA AND JUNIOR WHO ARE THE DUMB ONES...............
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.
She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.............
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".
He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed, "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.
"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?"
"What's a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.
"It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.
"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.
"It's usually in your glove compartment." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.
"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?"
"Yes." replied the officer.
"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher.
"Uh... yes." replied the cop.
"Here's what you do." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."
"What!!? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop.
"Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher.
So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.
The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...................
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
HA HA HA HA.....GETTING SHORT OF BREATH.........NEED WATER NEED WATER.......................
I'M BLONDE AND I'M BEAUTIFUL!
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested she move to economy since she didn't have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak to her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.
Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving.
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I' m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to her. The captain replied: "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."
HA HA HA...I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT BLONDE JOKES..COZ I AM ONE .BUT I AIN'T DUMB......