There was a young gypsy girl Rose With obsessions for gentlemens' hose Up her pussy, her rear, In her mouth and each ear And her cute little freckle-tipped nose.
There was an old lady from Wheeling, who had a funny feeling she laid on her back, and tickled her crack and pissed all over the ceiling
There once was this guy named Stan Who had some trouble being a man He wore a dress and high heels And drove a Chevrolet with pink wheels And soon Stan became a tran
There once was a man from Monclair Who screwed his wife on the stair, The banister broke, He quickened his stroke And finished her off in the air.
There once was this guy named Gored Whose girlfriend was as flat as a board He'd suck as hard as he could And pulled them more then he should But soon even Gored got bored.
Mary had a little sheep, And with this sheep She went to sleep. The sheep turned out To be a ram And Mary had a little lamb!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA........................................
SOME JOKES COULD BE OFFENSIVEIF YOU ARE A CERTAIN PERSONS FAN SO I WILL MAKE NO APPOLOGIES TO THIS...................AS I CAN'T STAND THE GUY.................................
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record? A: "Feel the World."
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song? A: "Don't let your son go down on me."
Rumor has it that Michael Jackson is in Switzerland undergoing cosmetic surgery on his pecker. Then the description the California Justice Dept got from the little boy won't fit anymore. Another rumor has it that he's finally going all the way and changing gender entirely.
Michael Jackson first wanted to look like Diana Ross, then a white person, now he wants to be A ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST.
Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme? A: Little Boy Blew.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson.
Q: What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy? A: "The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when a boy in a car mooned him going down the road? A: "I'll be there!"
If you play thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song? A: "And then he touched me"
I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "fucking kids!", and it played Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson's found a way to stymie that L.A. search warrant: He's invited Lorena Bobbitt over.
Q: How do we know Michael is guilty? A: Several children have fingered him.
Q: How will MJ pay off his old boyfriends? A: Liquefy some assets.
Q: Why doesn't Micheal have orgasms? A: The big payoff comes a couple of months later.
Q: Why does Michael like children so much? A: He knows how they feel.
Q: How did Michael get in trouble? A: He was feeling a little Randy.
Q: How is Michael dealing with his problems? A: He's holding his own.
Q: How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem? A: They're all standing behind him.
Q: What psychological problem does Michael still suffer from? A: Anal retention.
Q: How is Michael now? A: Feeling a little crotchety.
Q: Why does Micheal Jackson like to lose foot races to little boys? A: He likes to come in a little behind.
Q: What was the big break in the Micheal Jackson molestation case? A: A doctor did a rectal exam of one of the boys bringing charges and found ... a white glove.
Q: What is the most difficult thing to get out of little boys underwear? A: Michael Jackson's makeup!
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers? A: To stop him from going OW! OW! OW!
Q: How does Michael Jackson keep his youth? A: Pizza and Nintendo.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date? A: Boys 'R Us.
Q: What does Michael call an orgy? A: A fruit salad
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
NOW IF U AIN'T LAUGHING THEN U HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!