The Daily Guide To Burning Calories Beating around the bush - 75 Jumping to conclusions - 100 Climbing the walls - 150 Swallowing your pride - 50 Passing the buck - 25 Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight) - 50-300 Dragging your heels - 100 Pushing your luck - 250 Making mountains out of molehills - 500 Hitting the nail on the head - 50 Wading through paperwork - 300 Bending over backwards - 75 Jumping on the bandwagon - 200 Balancing the books - 25 Running around in circles - 350 Eating crow - 225 Tooting your own horn - 25 Climbing the ladder of success - 750 Pulling out the stops - 75 Adding fuel to the fire - 160 Wrapping it up at the day's end - 12 Opening a can of worms - 50 Putting your foot in your mouth - 300 Covering your tracks - 165 Starting the ball rolling - 90 Going over the edge - 25 Picking up the pieces after - 350 Counting eggs before they hatch - 6 Cracking a smile - 35 Calling it quits - 2 Going to Hell in a handbasket - 2
Chocolate Rules If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car? The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?
Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?
Ways To Annoy People In Restaurants
Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the next table. Turn around every thirty-seven seconds to the people at the next table and ask them if your seat is too close, if you're talking too loud, etc. Whenever you see someone getting up and leaving, bolt to their table and take the tip before the wait-person returns. Eat REALLY loud; make disgusting noises; slurp EVERY time you take a sip of your drink. Constantly re-adjust the positions of absolutely EVERYTHING at your table; seats, silverware, dishes, the table itself; and make sure to make a big production out of it. Order something on the menu, preferably something very specific, then when it comes, claim it's wrong and you ordered something simple. Make a big production about the ineptitude of the help. If shells are on the menu, order them and take them home. Come in the next day and say, "Those shells you sold me jammed up my shotgun! I want my money back!" As soon as someone at a nearby table gets up, jump into their seat immediately, and claim you've been there the whole night. This is especially great when the others at that table are in on it. Whenever anyone leaves their seat at another table, put some particularly messy peice of food on their seat. Two Words: Food Fight. Poke the person next to you repeatedly with your fork. If they try to retaliate, curl into a ball and start crying for your mother. This only works if the person has their back to you. Select a single strand of hair from the person's head and pull gently. When they reach up to touch their hair or try to turn around, look at the ceiling or pretend to read the menu. Repeat constantly. Tap your fingernails on the table top, ignoring any evil stares that come your way. (This works anywhere, not just restaurants.) Hug yourself and rock backwards and forwards in your seat whilst muttering incoherantly. This will not only completely embarrass those at your table, it is also extremely annoying. Help yourself to other people's meals. If they complain, pretend to stick your fingers down your throat and ask them if they'd like their food back.